A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ~ Confucius
So it is with this one. My journey is towards a spiritual Truth, a heart-felt need for God, that all of my many Life experiences have failed to fulfil. Oh, I'm not ignorant towards religion. I have studied the world's faiths since my teen years - and my fiftieth year is rapidly approaching. I'm also no stranger to being a member of a minority in the Community having lived most of my life in the 'Christian' Southern states (USA) as a neo-Pagan - Wiccan, to be precise.
Why Wicca? Because it is an inclusive rather than an exclusive religion. I may be a white male 'baby-boomer' from the Deep South, but racism is a revolting concept to me. So are the sexist attitudes of most southern men of my age. In Wicca ALL are equal, (in some sects women are considered superior). That life was generally good to, & for, me for many years. Then things began to change. Perhaps it was me beginning to see more clearly as I grew older, but as I saw it there seemed to be a push for more members even though it was a forbidden practise. "How-to" books became the key and suddenly a dark element crept in seeking only drugs and sex - two things that the media had pushed as the norm even though those things were not a part of the faith or its teachings.
More importantly, while Wicca had taught me how to connect well to myself, it had utterly failed to connect me to God. So after 30+ years, I walked away. (Looking in from the outside I see that I am not alone in my move. Indeed, the older Wiccans are leaving their Circles in droves out of disgust.) Now what?
I walked alone and I prayed. I once again read and re-read all of the holy scriptures of all faiths that have them. (Or so I thought.) Finding nothing that rang true to my inner beliefs, I fell back on a term not much heard in this country since the Revolution, and in the manner of Thomas Paine, called myself a Deist. An improvement to be sure, but while there is the belief in God, Science, and Reason, there is no love, no joy, no 'connection' to my Creator. I thought it would have to do.
Then a wonderful event occurred. I met, and married, the most wonderful of Women. In all manners physical and emotional - and some spiritual - she completes me. Our life together has been wonderful! Where she comes into my spiritual search was through her cousin. Many years ago my wife's cousin and her husband converted to, (at the time), an almost unknown faith - Sikhism. Frankly, it is still an unknown in our part of America. I recalled it from my studies all those years ago and found myself explaining some of its points to family members who had known a Sikh all of their lives. Somehow here in the South it is considered bad form to ask questions about other faiths - mainly because all are considered evil other than Christianity by local pastors.
That was years ago, but apparently a seed had been sown.
As time went by I kept running into references to Sikhism. Seems it was suddenly everywhere. I've never been one to ignore a hint - especially one repeatedly slapping me in the face - so I began to research this faith in earnest. Websites, books, film, emails to known Sikhs, the entire bit. The one thing hampering me was that I do not speak Punjabi, nor can I read the script. Eventually though, I found a well-respected English translation of the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh holy book. Since then I have found myself more & more drawn to the lifestyle of the Sikh. How much so? To the point that I have taken up wearing a kara for the same reason they wear one, which oddly is the same reason I have worn a bronze bracelet for years. My morning schedule has been much like theirs as well, though I have added meditation. I have even begun growing my hair & beard, and previously I regularly shaved my entire head for over fifteen years! It all seems perfectly natural so far. I have also taken a Sikh name, Shabad Gyan Singh, chosen in the manner preferred.
What does my (large) family think of all of this? Well, for the most part, they don't know. My eldest son shares my fascination with Sikhism and may take up the 5 K's for himself. My wife wants only one thing: for me to be happy, although she isn't so sure about the hair as this is the fist time she has seen me with it. As for the rest, time will tell. Of course, time will answer all of my questions as well. Is this a simple, but passing, fancy? Can I, at my age, make such a drastic change? Can, or will, the Sikh Community-at-Large accept me (an old Caucasian, tattooed man with a Pagan past) into their fold?
At any rate, the first steps of this journey have been taken. As I continue down the road I will post my progress here in the hopes my story will be of some use to another soul in the future.
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh!
